How True, Joke

[geof_junk]

But not looking forward to the last 2.

 

A Man's Age - as Determined by a Trip to Bunning's  (Bunning's is an Aus. large retail hardware outlet.)

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --.
Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or
whatever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint.
You have your old work clothes on.
You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with
a stain from
who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realise you
need to run to Bunnings to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush
your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex.
Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might
meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to
school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb
your hair.
Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favourite
cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to
school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a teeshirt that is long enough to cover
the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any
of it on a trip to Bunnings
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel
weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto
your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dog c**p in your new sports car.
Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore
because it makes you look fat.
The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think
you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Gunmart's Bait Bar
and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog c**p off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in
your 50's.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses
on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Bunnings until the Chemist has your
prescriptions ready, too.
Don't even notice the dog c**p on your shoes.
The young thing at the register stares at you and you realise your balls are
hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you need to go to Bunnings. Go to K-Mart instead and wander
around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.
You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a bundings ? Something for my garden?
Where am I ? Who am I ? Why am I reading this ?
Did I post it ? Did you? Who farted ? 

[Ridge Runner]

Well I’m 80 but don’t look like I got much to look forward to at 90 .

 I wonder if I could bypass the 90’s ?

 Chuck 

[Joe D.]

So true!!👍

[Ridge Runner]

I want everyone to know that I have yet farted out loud in a public place. I must admit my pucker power is getting weaker!

 Guys some how we’ve got to get back on the subject of detecting. You can tell it’s hot outside due to our off key subject matter.

 Getting old is not for the weak because you got to be strong to make it.

 Like Always The Best To All Here On The Forum!

 Chuck 

[normmcq]

Not sure if I farted out loud in public,  can't hear them anymore!

                                                                       Norm

[Norvic]

For you young fellas, take no notice of all the old fellas, the best side of 60 is from 60 up. Now what was I on about............

[phrunt]

Well ,I sure don't have much to look forward to by the look of it.  At least in my 50's I'll get a s sports car, although that was done in my 20's so maybe I'll end up with a Volvo instead.  I'm not much of a car person though, I buy one and use it until it dies, it's probably the thing I care least about as to me it's just a mode of transport.

I just hope in my detecting lifetime a PI comes out with accurate Target ID's, if it does I'll be satisfied.  A PI CTX 3030 and I'd be satisfied.   I'd like if it draws the outline of the target on the screen as you waive over it too with some sort of ground penetrating radar technology!   The more swipes over it the more detailed the image becomes.  Ahhhh, I can stop dreaming now, that can be my sports car in my 50's, a detector of my dreams.

[Mike_Hillis]

HA!

I can confess to being a little over pressurized in public spaces at sundry times in my past, to other's merriment and my embarrassment.  I'm still trying to live down the un-expected outburst at the CPR/First-aid training event.

HH
Mike

 

 

[Joe D.]

    I say we are on topic! Detecting the joke of the day!😁 And yes, with the heat, and current events, we all need a little more laughter to lighten the mood, and keep us detecting/prospecting, and forum strong! Steve will slap us in line, if he objects! He appreciates a good laugh, as much as anyone, I'm sure! Within parameters, of course!

*Besides, I really enjoyed sending this to my 86 year old dad! Thanks!!👍👍

[Ridge Runner]

Well I don’t care who you are are how old but if you hear your name called and you don’t get there soon it’s too bad. I won’t go into explaining it to you but if it hadn’t happen yet it will. One day you’ll be sitting there and say I know now what’s Chuck’s talking about.haha 

Chuck