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I'm Still Not Dead. Lol


Doc

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On 12/15/2022 at 7:07 PM, mn90403 said:

Doc,

Good to know you are around filling those orders ... and not taking some of the last few AZ nuggets.

I hope you also post your 'story' again about Gold Is Not Where You Find It.

It's still on here:
 

 

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3 hours ago, Doc said:

So I got a kick out of all of these tests I had to go through for life insurance.  All because of my advanced years.

The blood tests are a normal part of the testing, but there is the "ELDERLY" tests you have to take,  Really had not thought of myself as elderly, but whatever.

So the medical examiner lady comes out and draws blood, takes blood pressure all of that stuff.  Then says I need you to do some tests required for the elderly.  OK, WHAT?  Walk across the floor at least 20 feet and turn around and walk back.  I said and do what?  She says just walk.  I said what in the hell does that prove?  So I walk across the floor and walk back.  The lady says great.  Now I have to answer these questions.  "Did the applicant seem confused by the instructions?  Did the applicant need assistance to get into a standing position? Did they stumble or fall during walking?  Did they need assistance by way of another person a cane or a walker?

I said seriously?  You have people who are 73 and can't walk across the floor?  I do 5 miles on my treadmill every day.  Come to my warehouse and you will see me 15 feet up in the air moving boxes around on the top of the industrial storage racks.

Then I get a phone call from someone that says, this is a Cognition test for the elderly.  I am going to read a list of ten things and you have to swear you will not write them down.  OK, I swear.  She reads off the list and I give them back to her.

Cake, Park, Caution, Marriage, Rest, Notice, Boat, Planet, Knee, Phone

She says you wrote them down.  I said No I didn't.  She says well you gave them back to me in the same order that I gave them to you, no one does that.  I said well maybe no one has taught over 50 classes on enhancing your memory like I have.  And guess what, if you call me out of the blue 6 months from now I will still be able to tell you that list in the same order.

So she says well maybe you can explain to me how you do it.

I said sure.  The first thing I did a long time ago was to associate words with numbers.  Because we only learn new things by associating it with something we already now.    So what do you associate with the number 1?  She says WHAT?  What do you associate with the number 1?  She says I don't know, just the number 1.  I said that's why you can't remember your grocery list.  You have to have a picture word of something you associate with the number 1.

See I practiced a little and I have an item associated with the number 1, and it's a telephone pole, because a telephone pole looks like the number 1.  For number two my memory peg is a light switch, because it only has two positions, on and off, it also has 2 screws, so the number two is a light switch in my mind.  I have 20 pictures that represent the numbers 1 through 20 in my head.  Takes about 5 minutes to learn the list you practice it a couple of times for a few weeks and now you know it for ever.  Just like you know how to count to 20.

So You said cake.  I said the number 1 item is cake and my memory peg is a telephone pole.  A telephone pole looks like it could be a candle so I have a telephone pole sitting in the middle of a smashed cake in my mind.  The second word you gave me was PARK.  In parks there are swings that go back and forth just like a light switch.  So I see a park with a swing set with a light switch.  And I explain the entire thing to her.  Number 9, my memory peg picture is a CAT, you know 9 lives, and all of that.  Well her 9th word was knee, so I imagine a rabid cat biting me in the knee.

Granted it takes you a while to get fast at associating new words with your memory peg pictures but you get used to it quickly, and its fun and it keeps you sharp.

Bottom line is we are not as forgetful as we thing we are it's just we are so much older we've heard it all and we really don't give a shit.  We all say we are bad at people's names.  No you not, you just don't care enough to listen.  I make myself good at people's names.  I just went to see my dermatologist. Her name is Tasha, the front desk girl is named Frankie, and Tasha's assistant is named Abby.  When you are going to meet someone listen to what they tell you there name is.  LISTEN.  Hi my name is OLIVIA.  Olivia, that is a pretty name, like Olivia Newton John?  Oh I have a great aunt named Olivia, (in your mind connect something about your great aunt Olivia "I hope you're not a nasty old hag like aunt Olivia.)  Trust me you will remember the lady's name Olivia.  Listen to the name, repeat the name to the person, mention something about the name and associate the name with someone you know.  Or a famous person.  But I got off topic.

She says OK that's pretty impressive.  Obviously you don't have dementia, who could remember all that shit?  Then she apologized for saying shit.  I said hey as long as my wife's grocery list isn't longer than 20 items I don't need a piece of paper to remember what's on the list.

There are a lot of memory enhancing tricks you can use.  Name the Great Lakes.  Can't do it?

What if I told you to just imagine HOMES around a great lake?  What if I told you HOMES contains the first letter of the name of each of the great lakes?  Can you name them now?

Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior

OK so this is totally off the topic.  I just needed to talk for a bit.

Merry Christmas all,

Doc

 

Don't know you personally but a good read that was glad to hear its not your ghost posting a thread LOL

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6 hours ago, Doc said:

Come to my warehouse and you will see me 15 feet up in the air moving boxes around on the top of the industrial storage racks.

No life insurance for you buddy!

Merry Christmas.

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Watch out DOC I'm a little older than you, your list.......Cake, Park, Caution, Marriage, Rest, Notice, Boat, Planet, Knee, Phone......  I don't know what a "Caution" or a "Phone" are. So your method don't work for me, is it age that has caused this outcome.  ?

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On 12/18/2022 at 10:27 PM, geof_junk said:

Watch out DOC I'm a little older than you, your list.......Cake, Park, Caution, Marriage, Rest, Notice, Boat, Planet, Knee, Phone......  I don't know what a "Caution" or a "Phone" are. So your method don't work for me, is it age that has caused this outcome.  ?

You don't know what caution is?  Let me ask you something, when you're at home and you get up in the middle of the night and it's dark and you stumble your way to the bathroom, do you stand up and pee or sit down?  Because if you sit down, it's because you are exercising caution because you know your wife will rip off your head if you pee all over the roll of toilet paper one more time.

So I think you probably know what caution is.  ?

Merry Christmas,

Doc

 

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