Steve H. Q & A With Dick Stout

[Hardtimehermit]

Well done Steve, i too have about 8 years without the bottle and then four years later i dropped the somkes too. Metal detecting has been one force keeping me on the right path of digging deep and living life. I just joined this forum recently and seems like a good decision this is a great place. Thanks Steve 😀 look forward to reading your book.

ht 

[Hardtimehermit]

This is a good mini documentary on the topic of sobriety.

[Dick Stout]

I have never met Steve but have heard nothing but great things. The responses to my Q&A and the comments here only reinforce that. You have a lot of friends Steve and they have a lot of respect for you. Thanks for all you do.....

[Randy Dee]

49 minutes ago, Dick Stout said:

I have never met Steve but have heard nothing but great things. The responses to my Q&A and the comments here only reinforce that. You have a lot of friends Steve and they have a lot of respect for you. Thanks for all you do.....

Hello Dick

Great words about a great man.

Good to see you in here and welcome aboard.

[Northeast]

12 hours ago, Steve Herschbach said:

That was my official “coming out” statement.

Wow!  That would have been very hard.  Well done.   
 

Best of luck with the book and hopefully it helps many others too 👍
 

 

[goldrat]

Appreciate your important story Steve , I started in hospitality ( clubs and country hotels ) in1958 and finished in 2013 . In that span of years I saw many of both genders ruin their health , wealth , future and last but most importantly their family units . Over the years it broke my heart to see all of the above happen before my eyes . As I aged I tried extremely hard to help many people and their families , but I learnt that they have to own up to their problem , admit it and voluntary seek help . Thanks for your story , you have bought back many work related memories . I have always admired your knowledge and extreme strength to drive this forum in the best direction , well I've just added a further admiration of you , thanks for your story .

Cheers

goldrat

[Steve Herschbach]

Thank you all for the kind words of support, it’s much appreciated. Though I do have to be careful.  My ego is my number one enemy and humility my friend and protector. I am not an AA member per se, but they recommend anonymity for good reason. The downside of that however is it does contribute to the stigma side of things. It’s important that people know it’s not just that skid row bum but everyone in all walks of life that faces these issues. Business owners are just one of many classes at particular risk.

I’m still on the Board of Directors of my old company. They look at me like some amazing old guy, one of the founders, successful business person and all that hoorah. My last visit up I gave a presentation to the entire company where I told them no, I’m just a high school kid who made good but not because I am perfect by any means. I told them my story and let them know people in need would always get our support, to not be afraid to come forward and ask for help. There were literally tears in some eyes... it was a very emotional thing. The dark, cold, and social isolation of Alaska means the rates of every bad thing in the book are sky high. 

I am a good speaker and good story teller so I want to leverage those strengths to best advantage. I can help people one on one but it’s all about finding ways to be of more influence than that, and a book plays right into it. The problem always is making it about me instead of the people I want to help, and therein lies the danger in being public about this sort of thing.

All I can say is I have always been a risk taker and will walk that tightrope as best I can. I can’t imagine giving up the peace of mind I have attained for any reason, but addiction is a tricky thing and I’m not entirely normal, whatever the heck that means!  That’s ok though, I have learned to embrace my weirdness and above all laugh at myself. If I start taking myself seriously I know I’m on the wrong path.

Anyway, once again, thank you all. It really is massively off topic but hey, I think I’ll give it a pass this time. That’s enough from me on the subject though, the rest can wait for that book. It’s been in the works all year with the goal of getting published next year. I’ve denied myself any more new toys, vacations, you name it until that thing is done and in the bag. Going public with all this does help put a fire under my goal, so there is a method here at work where I am purposefully making the commitment publicly as one of my self motivation tricks.

With that, my best to all of you in your own journeys, and if you do need some help, please seek it out. It is amazing how many people want to help if all you do is admit you need it and ask. That is indeed the key. It’s ok to be human.

[Reg Wilson]

Well I gave up the smokes years ago (all sorts), but giving up my home brewed beer and whiskey may be a bit more difficult. I gave up smoking cold turkey. One day I just thought "that's enough" and stopped. No relapse, and no nicotine gum. Just stopped.

I try to keep the booze in moderation, but may one day have to give it up completely. My Apprehension is that people I have met over the years that neither smoke nor drink can be as boring as bat droppings. Especially those that are reformed, and the ones that tempt me into committing strangulation are the ones that have turned to religion.

Should I reluctantly decide to climb upon the wagon of boredom Steve I shall prevail upon you for some words of advice. Seriously.

[Steve Herschbach]

There is no need to quit anything in life Reg if it is not working against you. I’m certainly not out to convince people of anything and am the last person to judge what others do. It’s not about amounts or how often or anything else. A wise person told me “it’s only a problem if it’s a problem”. I was not drinking, I was killing myself. That’s a problem.

There is nothing about substance abuse that predicates how people will be after they stop. Nothing about quitting anything inherently makes people boring or turns them into preachy religious types. Those are separate issues. It’s only a wagon of boredom if that’s what you make of it. I have no idea who is addicted to things or who is not, but I can promise you one thing. If you are an addict, your mind will find a million reasons not to quit.

Many if not most addiction issues have underlying causes. This can be seen clearly with food, spending, and gambling addictions. There are people addicted to bad relationships. It’s every bit as much a mental health issue as a chemical dependency issue. A large number of people with chemical dependencies are self medicating for underlying mental health issues. Personally I was at first self medicating and only secondarily developed a chemical dependency. What that means is there are many people who quit whatever their drug of choice is but who are far from normal, well adjusted people afterwards. There are many classic “dry drunks” and they may have quit drinking but are still generally miserable human beings. Quitting drugs or alcohol is not some automatic magical road to happiness. For me quitting drinking was just the start of a process that has continued ever since.

[RickUK]

This has been a terrific thread,Steve i take my hat off to you,really admire what you are doing and good luck for the future !!